April Bingo Entry - Blackout - Dawson's Creek - Andie, Pacey/Andie - Wash Away

[apachefirecat]

Smile	Memories
Consolation	Defense

Title: Wash Away
Fandom: Dawson's Creek
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Andie, past Pacey/Andie, implied Pacey/Joey, referenced Doug/Jack
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: Andie has changed so much, but she still stays the same in very many ways.
Word Count: 600
Written For: Sweet and Short April 2023 Bingo: All Prompts and Lands of Magic: The Creative Court: April Showers
Warnings: AU
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.






She smiled as she watched the rain washing down. Spring had always been about rejuvenation, and in what was supposed to be an entirely different world from the one she had been forced away from, it still held true. She washed the most recent April shower wash away the blood and carnage and turned slowly from her window above it all.

The water brought on so many other memories, both better and worse. It had been raining the night she had lost Tim, and she had both cried because of and with and loved Pacey during several showers back in Capeside. It had become a favorite pasttime of theirs to go sailing when they knew it was going to be rain, but the showers were going to stay light. It had been a perfect excuse to sail away and not return for hours, or even days. She should have stayed gone with him, Andie thought remorsefully. She should have stayed gone and never come back. Then, maybe, he never would have stopped loving her.

But he had. He had, and her inability to let go of the perfect love they had shared for all too short a time had ultimately driven her away. Her brother was with a cop now while she herself was on the opposite side of the law, having grown to be far different than she'd ever been when she'd known love, even if that love had been twisted. She had built this gang, built her reputation, taken over the main Mafia... Her life had changed in so many ways she could have never imagined when she'd been only little Andie McPhee, the freak who had never gotten over losing her brother and then later losing the only man she had ever, and would ever, love.

She'd loved that girl behind in Capeside, or at least, she'd tried. She still couldn't stop the memories, no matter how powerful she became or how many guys she surrounded herself with as layers of defense. Any one of these men would love to console her, but she wanted nothing from them other than to keep her safe. Sadly, it didn't seem to matter how safe she was; she still hurt. Like the fact that thunder always rolled with lightning, the pain of her broken heart followed her everywhere. Having an entire city at her beck and call was still very little consolation.

"Momma?"

"What do you want, Lazaro?"

"We found him, Momma."

She stopped. Andie slowly raised her head. Her eyes were hard and, some of her men said, she knew, lifeless when she turned them onto Lazaro's nervous face. "And?"

"They have them in their sights right now, ma'am."

"Them? So he is still with her?"

"Yes, ma'am." Lazaro trembled.

For a moment, she thought of the comics her brothers had once enjoyed, and the strange way in which some of the characters had made life altering decisions. She could flip a coin, but it wouldn't matter. What mattered was what was in her own heart, and even after all this time, and all the other horrible things she had done, she still could not bring herself to free herself. "Does he seem... happy?" she asked, her fingers curling at her sides.

Lazaro swallowed hard. "Yes, ma'am. Forgive me for saying, but yes, ma'am. They have one chi--"

Andie held up a hand; he hushed instantly. "Leave them," she ordered. "I wish to hear no further." She turned back to the rain and the almost deafening thunder. If only it could wash her away like it did the blood...



The End